Finding My Niche

Last fall I was feeling ready to put myself out there as a photographer, and so I did. The first few jobs I took were with friends and their families who have seen my work, like it and wanted to support me. I was eager to say yes, because I wanted be their person and it feels good to document for people you love. But it kind of bombed, and even though they were gracious, I knew it was shit, and it made me feel terrible. I doubted if I was ready or if it was even what I wanted to do. Christopher was really encouraging, telling me that it was my thing I just need to hone in on my style and my cliental. It seems painfully obvious but it hadn't really occurred to me. I just felt like maybe I could do it all. I can't. I was trying to conform to what they wanted rather than give them my best self. I am learning. I am good at capturing candid moments and movement, in natural light. I'm good at making the mundane things comes to life and look extraordinary, because to me they already are. I want to capture humans in their natural state and refuse to contrive children into cheesy grins only to get an ice cream cone after our time together. I say give them the cone now, let is saturate their favorite outfit and let me capture all the in between faces that might mean nothing to every one else, but everything to you. Let me capture your kid having the biggest meltdown and you in the trenches. Let me capture your love in the beginning, middle and sometimes end. Let me capture your squishy belly that just gave birth, your wrinkles and wisdom, your good to honest self. The moment I have to place people and ask them to look at me, the magic is already over. There is nothing wrong with that kind of photography, we all need a classic family photo, a christmas card or portrait, however that isn't really my strong suit. I'm grateful for the friends who supported me and let me learn the hard way on them, because now I am finding my niche. My friend Laurel let me come in and do my thing and I was so inspired before, during and after. THIS is what I want to do!