the pursuit of transparency (again) or where i began.

i struggle with being vulnerable and transparent, which is to be completely myself, and the pressure i put on myself to be “professional.” the blog i started here, seven years ago, was my outlet. my art, in the beginning and thick of motherhood. my once slow food blog, and sweet stories of my simple little life morphed into a journal of sorts and then a platform for my photography, and now a photography business. now there is this pressure to be professional, whatever that means, and for some reason that feels like guarding my heart. which is probably why i’ve never considered myself professional (i’m not suggesting they are or should be one in the same) but going down this road feels cold and dishonest. my photographs are soulless unless i share the inner workings of my heart. they are one in the same and can’t be plucked out or separated from each other. and so now this blog, connected to my livelihood must hold the weight and the joy of my experiences or there is no livelihood at all. i say all this to share and acknowledge that yes, this is website, my business, but it is is also my heart and i want to share without abandon, without the fear of coming across too one way or another, for fear of turning off potential clients or the like, because in all honesty, we probably wouldn’t be a great fit, if you aren’t drawn the heart cry behind the lens. 2019 is getting back to my roots, to myself, to the reason i do anything at all. here is to poetry and photography and daily pursuit of seeing the magic in the everyday and the freedom and permission to share it again.