FIVE

It feels like I should say something like, “today my girl is five, oh where did the time go? It feels like it was just yesterday.” But it’s not that way. I don’t remember the day she was born just like it was yesterday. It feels like another person, a world away, an entirely different universe. It feels like an abrupt awakening, and a really slow homecoming. It feels just how I want it to, which is neither fast or slow, but tucked inside the deepest pockets of eternity. I feel her there, and I see now that I always have. Surely this is not our first meeting place. But today she is five, and interestingly I feel like a real mother, as if the years prior were just conditioning for this, which suddenly feels like the good stuff, the best stuff. It feels surreal to see the shift happening right now in this very moment of attentive watch and reflection. She is morphing into something entirely brand new. I’m certain it can only get sweeter, but for today it is all and I know, and it is good.

Here is to my sweet and spicy Octave, who’s tenacious spirit and strong sense both frighten and inspire me, and have sense the moment I first placed my eyes on her. Who’s spirit begs me to dig deeper than bones, and who keeps me asking a million and one beautiful why’s. Who I am confident will keep me humbled, alive, sometimes tired, but always true. I love you with every last fiber of who I am, and who I will become.